Today was one of those shitty Pittsburgh days I used to have back in the day... the kind of days you forget about when reminiscing about that walk in the park and that trip to the show.
It started around 12am. I drove into Bellevue so that I could take the bus to Manchester to save money on gas and parking since I had interview #2 at Clean Water Action. I still couldn't (and can't) eat much because of the horrible stomach thing, so I was about to buy a bottle of water at the Dollar General before the bus came. Just before I got in line this woman with a ton of stuff stepped in front of me. While the woman and the cashier were discussing a dress the woman was buying, I saw my bus out front. I left the bottle on the counter with an apologetic, "I'm sorry, it's my bus" and dashed out.
"Creepy Guy #1"After I'm sitting comfortably in the very back of the bus, right in the center where I always sit, this white trash boy named Dan or John or something sits beside me. I glance over and he's hiding something beside his left hand, I couldn't tell if he was texting or doing something shady. Then he proceeds to start awkward conversation, listing all of his good qualities, "I have some classy ancestry, they won't anything to do with my immediate family though, I still have upper crust leanings though, when I drink tea my pinky goes up." Following that charming comment he told me that he was off probation from a felony, but he still couldn't travel very much because of it. I asked him why, hell it could be interesting, why not ask? So he told me his mother died and he needed money for the funeral so he robbed some friends. I felt a sympathetic, but not sympathetic enough to give him my real number.
Then I got off of the bus pretty far away from the Guild (I should have taken 17B instead of 16B), so I had to walk through the ghetto for a half an hour. While walking, I saw a man with buttons all over his shirt, one of which read "I <3 life." I noticed a mad gleam in his eye, and walked a bit faster, wondering if I should go against instinct and take his picture while he called "you look really good!"
After a boring hour of watching him call people, we ended up doing the same. At first I had false confidence - I am too amiable on the phone, but nobody ever cared at Telefund... I only got through to five people. Two of them hung up, the other one was on the other line with someone, and the other two just said "sorry, I'm not interested." Other than that I got a lot of answering machines and no answers. For the first time all night I started to feel nervous, he said that if we didn't make any money we wouldn't be hired.
Sure enough, he disposed of Jacquelle outside, then came back to tell me with brevity that "you're not aggressive enough Juliet, you need to give them a reason not to go back to sleep, so we just can't hire you." I know it wasn't a big deal, but it ended up being a crushing blow, and I started getting that foreboding 4th grade feeling of teardrops... Yes I know it's lame, but I ended up crying in front of this poor bald Turkish man who was just doing his job. Simultaneously, my stomach started making really horrible growling noises since I hadn't eaten since 1 because of my stomach virus thing (it all comes out if I eat and I didn't want to fuck up chances of an $11 and hour job that was already a futile chance of acceptance little known to me). So I ended up waiting for an elevator for 5 minutes, all the while trying to suffocate those dreadfully awkward tears.
Finally back on the street, I decided to give my dear friend Brittany a call. She lives right on Market Square, so I just walked over, and we had a good time catching up a bit. She's in an odd love triangle right now, which could prove interesting since she's grouped with both boys next year in a film project. My whole crying at the clean water agency thing was laughable with her, we have so many memories escaping from reality at the A or through Buffy or Sex in the City. Reality just doesn't seem so real when I'm with her. As I was leaving, her and her gay roommate Marcus also left to run to the McDonald's. She helped me out a bit as to how to get to the bus stop as she walked away.
I only knew vaguely from googlemaps where 6th street met 5th street, and could find the right signs. So I tracked down the next stop, Smithfield and 6th, but couldn't see the 500 on the bus stop sign. So I asked a man in a pink shirt if he knew whether the 500 stopped there and he told me that it stopped in front of a steak house, and that if I kept going straight on 6th then curved to the left, I'd see it. So I went on my way.
I thought I found the bus stop at the corner of 6th and 5th, but it was fraudulent relief. I'd already missed 2 buses and my mom called worried asking if she could pick me up. I flatly refused since I had a perfectly good transfer and a working pair of legs, but I started to reconsider when a man asked me if I had any change for the bus, then started a very odd conversation after I told him I wasn't employed. He asked with a disgusting expression "can you dance?" Then said, "naw, you couldn't do that, it would change you." From that point, the 500 passed the stop and I cried, "shit!"
So I started walking to the next stop a street up while that guy asked someone else for "change for the bus" and found that the next stop actually had the 500 on the sign. Another woman waiting with artsy reading glasses said she just missed it too, i mentioned I'd been one block off, then realized she didn't care the least bit. I looked to my right and saw that guy asking me for money walking over...bastard. So I called my mom and asked her if the offer still stood, she said yes of course.
Thereby follows more attempts to be cold and unfeeling, but failing miserably. He tried to touch me while talking about how Aries and Scorpios are compatible, and I jumped back with flash backs. While waiting, I ended up squatting down a yard away from the man which was fine. He told me he has four kids and doesn't have any diseases - you know just in case one thing leads to another.
A middle-aged street urchin hobbled over in a drunken stagger and seemed to know the guy next to me. He gave the crazy man a menthol cigarette and asked him if he was drunk, on zanex, meth, or just not mentally sound. The man said he wasn't mentally sound. The swaying man almost stepped on my foot, so I decided to get up. He told the man "don't get to close to my shortie, she's innocent." Following that he continued to ask me to sneak out with him. Any questions he asked me lead me to give him a fake persona... sure I live in Bellevue, sure I have a boyfriend, sure I have 3 brothers. Finally, my mom called, and I jetted, giving the desperate man nothing but another big fat no, which he's probably used to by now.
Then my dad lectured me on how night life in downtown is full of gang bangs and prostitutes, and of how he got into a fight on a bus, and what a fool I was for even talking with anyone. I am a fool. I'm curious and want to understand things most people bypass for greater dreams. By the time I got home I felt deflated and finally ate some babaganoush and humus with sun-chips, which is still churning in my stomach ( and it's 2:18). Thank God for Kyle though, he helped me get some thoughts out on the phone and laugh a little. Lately, I've been feeling like such a useless leech with no wonderful talent or even minimum income.
Sleep time, let the subconscious mind do the rest of the thinking while my stomach churns, churns, churns.
No comments:
Post a Comment